your a redneck if…….

You paint your car with house paint.
Your dog goes “oink!”
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
You judge drive time solely by the number of beers you need to take.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
You own a homemade fur coat.
You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.

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